Fat, pissed and frustrated!

I have been attempting to work my butt off since June of 2007! And it seems as if my weight loss has come to a screeching halt!

I’m pissed! And I’m at the end of my rope!

Many people say “o have you done such and such” “or what about this”

YES I HAVE DONE IT ALL CONSISTENTLY AND FOR WHAT!

I saw this link while I was on another website:

http://health.yahoo.com/topic/weightloss/motivation/article/prevention/19984 which is a list of the greatest 100 weight loss tips. And needless to say, I participate in most of them (at least the healthy ones, but some of them are misguided), while simultaneously exercising continuously.

What am I doing wrong? I have only lost 20lbs thus far. Which really doesn’t make that much of a difference because I am no closer to my goal. Those pounds are what pushed me over my “OMG I can’t believe I’m this fat” limit.

Needless to say, I am frustrated and so close to giving up. Not to mention that although I have given up meat and don’t miss it, I think that I am robbing my body of nutrition.

WHAT AM I GOING TO DO?

signed,

~angry [initial]~

more battles…some won some lost, but I live to eat another day!

Most people gripe about being too pressed for time to write down what they eat every day. And I used to be one of them, I would whine about recording every single piece of food that went into my mouth, why? Because I was lazy.

I remember reading somewhere, that if you are really serious about losing weight you will be willing to record your food intake for 2 weeks to get a baseline, and then daily after that. This baseline is meant to make you conscious of what you put into your mouth, how you feel when you do it, and to determine your commitment so on.

This exercise really is a deal breaker in terms of figuring out who is willing to do what it takes to lose the weight. I am simultaneously monitoring my food intake and observing a maximum number of calories per day. I have engaged in this exercise for about 2 months. Now I am not going to pretend that I religiously stick to this exercise. There are some days when I lie to myself and say “O I’ll just keep a mental track of all of my calories and stop when I hit my max.” NO. That is a baldfaced lie, there is something about seeing every single thing that you have eaten over a course of a day written down in black in white. At least for me, it keeps me on track, and those days that I don’t whoo boy!

Another battle that has been tripping me up constantly is the late night munchies. I don’t know what it is about the clock striking a certain time, but all bets are off pretty much. And I’ll eat, and I can’t stop, and I’ll feel horrible about myself!

But…I’ll dust myself off and keep going.

traineo.com has helped me tremendously, because it allows me to track my daily caloric intake, my weight, daily workout(s), and several different personalized logs. Between this website, and tracking my daily calorie intake I stay on track.

A word on soy, and soy products. I am through with soy, for some reason it becomes a brick in my system! Not to get too graphic, but I am usually regular and um like yah soy made that train come to a screeching halt! Plus I have been doing a little research and apparently there is some controversy about the benefits of soy products (at least in the forms that are offered to American consumers).

I’m not a vegetarian, I just don’t eat meat. I do not subscribe to the whole mentality, that goes along with being a vegetarian. Which means that I do not think that I will be eating soy products or any other so called “vegetarian” fare that is most likely over processed. As a matter of fact I believe that I am going to eradicate all processed foods, from my diets. Along with coffee, soy milk (I’m going to make the switch to coconut milk and/or almond milk whichever tastes best) and other caffeinated drinks.

Another problem is not weighing constantly. Although I measure my waist, I am still discouraged unless I know the actual amount of weight that has been lost. Mind you, one is not supposed to weigh every single day, but once a week is sufficient.

That should be enough for now. I don’t want to inundate anybody and/or come across as pretentious.

meat vs. tofu

so today i made my first “tofu” purchase in the form of boca burgers and boca chili. I was surprised at all of the different choices that were offered up. Yet I was concerned at the same time…I stopped eating meat because I don’t like the idea of eating flesh, yet almost every offering is made to simulate meat. In texture, “taste” and appearance. Uh like yah, that defeats the purpose! I might as well eat meat if that is the case. I don’t want to be reminded of meat! Yet I will say this, boca burgers are deeeeeliiiish…and a smarter choice calorie wise.

0ut for now…

update

Trying to lose weight while in graduate school is hell! Mainly because the hours are crazy, it is so hard to fit exercise in, and stress is like the Raven (sitting on your shoulder, constantly shrieking in your ear, and when you look at him incredulously he acts as if he is supposed to be there and he isn’t doing anything wrong). And don’t try to have a social life, participate in extracurricular activities and/or work. Long story short you will short circuit within a year. Trust me!

yet…I am making progress (on many fronts!).
No matter what, if you want to lose weight you have to make sacrifices, no matter what. I can’t stress that enough!

That means if the only time you have to exercise is 5 am, then hey you know what you got to do! If you have to give things up, if you have to totally rearrange your life, then so be it.

And that is where I am now-making sacrifices.

I have given up meat, and quite frankly I don’t really miss it. Although it can be tasty, there is just something about the idea of eating the flesh of an animal! That is the reason I gave up meat, nothing more noting less, because if you eat meat, you might as well kill humans and eat their flesh (my opinion). Not because of PETA’s scare tactics:

(to tell you the truth I could care less about animals being mistreated when there are too many children to count who are being mistreated hourly. Now I’m not saying don’t care about animals, but you got to have priorities. Yet I digress).

I don’t really feel any different without meat. And at first I thought it was going to be hard, but not really. I like pasta, I like rice, I like beans and quite frankly I am the type of person who doesn’t really care about variety. I can eat the same food 3 times a day, 7 days a week, as long as it is tasty!

I have also given up sweets, and whenever I fall off the wagon, and eat junk food I can taste ALL of the sugar and it makes me nauseous.

One thing that has changed is that my sense of smell has become stronger, almost superhuman. The scents that are the strongest to me are: vinegar, ketchup, mustard, paprika, chili spices, coffee, sugar, meat, blood, urine, milk (it has this very weird smell, almost as if I can still smell the cow it came from), eggs, and I could go on. For example whenever I drive by a fast food joint, I can smell the french fries and it makes me want to puke! I used to relish that smell, and it used to make my mouth water, now no way jose!

In addition to giving up meat I have also given up milk, and switched to rice/soy milk.

I hope that all of these changes will make me healthier in the end. It is expensive to eat healthy in this country, and most times when you think that you are eating healthy you really aren’t. But it is worth it, if I can become healthy and avoid diabetes, high blood pressure and so on!

Anyways I really am supposed to be writing a paper, instead posting to my blog…

till next time,

[initial]

WOW, a lot can change in 7 days!

ok i was totally going through an extremely rough patch there! But I am out of the woods!

I lost an inch since the last time I measured my waist! Totally cool, considering I have been only watching my calories, (the last few days I overate but what’s done is done, let’s be solution oriented!) and walking to and from work. In other words I haven’t been consistent. But I’m making progress. Not seeing results for active work was partially responsible for me feeling so down! It sucks to work so hard and not see results, but today is a testament to patience.

I’m back on the wagon, and I love it. I can only imagine how much sweeter the results are going to be from consistent hard work…

Out for now…

signed

happy [initial]

how do i feel…

I have been battling the battle of the bulge pretty much all of my life (which isn’t too long because I’m only 23)…I was always bigger than all the other girls, which isn’t saying too much.  Looking back at my pictures I wasn’t really that big!

My mom used to always badger me about losing weight, but I didn’t hear her. Partly because I felt like I didn’t need to be lose weight…but what really got me going was watching her! She lost a lot of weight very quickly (found out she had diabetes and started walking an hour a day!).

So today, I did my pilates tape. To tell the truth I really, really, really, really, don’t like exercising! I much rather prefer to mix it up in my daily routine! Although I hate exercising I like the results.

I’m also trying to go vegetarian. Slowly but surely. This week was a ban on red meat. I did ok for the most part. I generally don’t eat pork (unless it is pepperoni and/or ham, for some reason I really don’t see those as pork products). Next week I will weed out the pork. I wanna stick to eating fish and fowl.

I’m hungry…yet I am trying to break my love affair with food. One good thing that has come out of this ordeal, is I am more conscious of what I eat, when I eat, and how I eat. I’m so used to multi tasking, that I carry it over when I eat. I feel weird just eating! And my hand feels like it should be shoveling food in my mouth when I’m watching tv. I gotta start back crocheting when I watch tv. That will solve that problem.

I am becoming one of those girls who are ALWAYS talking about how many calories are in certain foods, and how much weight I want to lose and all that. I HATE THOSE PEOPLE!

“O I can’t eat that, it has waay too many calories!” That is the most annoying thing in the world. I don’t want to be like that…but it is so hard when you realize that the portion sizes that are given to you at restaurants are way out of whack or you know what chemicals and/or syrups are really in your food…

I’ m out for the night…hopefully things will get better from here

Now I start chronicling my journey!!

This is more than a weight loss journey…this is the beginning of my new lifestyle. There are a lot of things that I have learned about myself, and the way that I view food, and reasons that have contributed to my obesity.

I have learned that I really did not know what a portion size is! It seems like there is some major conspiracy that all food restaurants want americans to be overweight! The amount of food that they give you is at least enough for 3 people!

I don’t want to lose like a million fafillion pounds, I just want to be healthy…I want to be able to walk up 3 or 4 flights of stairs without being out of breath, I want to get back to my high school weight, I don’t want to have diabetes or heart disease or any of those other crappy diseases that go along with being overweight.

So far I have lost 19 pounds since I really started trying. Yay me, but sometimes it can be hard.