cuz that’s just how i do

I feel like Peter from Office Space, which is an excellent, extremely accurate, and hilarious movie (check it out sometime). Quick synopsis for those who have never seen this movie (have you been living under a rock?): Peter’s life sucks, his bosses (he has 8 of them) constantly ride his ass, his girlfriend is a cheating bitch, he pretty much has no life outside of work, and he is miserable. Well about 20 minutes into the movie Peter has an epiphany and changes his whole life, starting with work. Namely he just stops showing up, which is what I did today, I didn’t call or email or anything. I just turned my alarm clock off, rolled back over and went to sleep. I don’t even feel the slightest bit upset about it.

I should but I don’t.

Maybe this is the start of some grand new journey for me, and my life will change for the better like Peter’s. Maybe I’ll be like the phoenix and rise again out of my ashes…I don’t know. But I do know that I need things to change around here, and like fast.

I may be spiraling out of controll

1. I keep playing with my money, so now I’m short for July’s rent…and I kinda don’t care about how I am going to rectify that situation
2. I haven’t revised my thesis at all and it’s due in 13 days. July makes 3 months that I had to work on it, umm I just don’t give a fuck.
3. All of a sudden now that everybody else is free, they want me to be free too and they get mad at me when I refuse to hang out with them (I do it mainly to be an asshole). So I’m supposed to drop everything now that you have time for me? Umm no, sorry it doesn’t work like that.

I cannot wait until I leave Gainesville in a month and a half. I get to start all over. A lot of people might (or might not) be surprised and hurt when they never hear from me again, but those are the breaks. That is a completely narcissistic comment, but that’s who I am. Love me or leave me. I do this every time I make a new change in my life, I start from scratch and leave the things in my past in the past.

I think the new iteration of me will be an asshole. I’ve always wanted to do whatever and say whatever I felt like. No matter who was hurt. Yeah I think I like that.