Chucklefest 2008 (aka VP debate)

I really, really, really want to discuss in detail the VP debate but I won’t. I mean I want to have an intelligent discussion about how Sarah Palin is the epitome of what every woman who started the feminist movement was against, how Joe Biden is a sorry, disrespectful so and so, and how both of the “candidates” kept addressing the questions to Gwen as if the debate was specifically for her benefit and not the American public’s.

I won’t. Because:

1. The debate has been discussed to death in the blogosphere, and by the media pundits.
2. The debate was too intelligent for the people who really need to be persuaded about the presidential election. Rather, “Aw Shucks Joe’s” responses to the questions were too intelligent for the people who needed to be persuaded. Beauty Queen Palin was right on target for persuading the people who really don’t want to vote for Obama. She was so rehearsed.
3. I would have to find some clips to give you visual evidence to back up my claims. Frankly, I am too lazy to do that.
4. I have discussed it to death with my friends, family, and on facebook through my status updates.

So instead of providing an in depth analysis of the content of the debate, and my opinions on it. I will poke fun at the candidates. Because, really does it matter? People (who are voting anyways) have already made their minds up about who they will vote for, and no amount of pandering to the people will change their minds. The debates are only fodder to a. make your choice that much more concrete, b. give you more information about the “candidate’s” platforms thereby giving you a glimpse of their political style, and c. provide great entertainment.

Joe Biden:

1. Laughed openly at Palin’s canned replies, and although I know that is par for the course for politicians, you don’t have to appear canned. That is the difference between a true politician and someone playing pretend
2. was extremely disrespectful for laughing openly at Palin’s responses. Yeah she was out of her league, but don’t they teach good sportsmanship somewhere in politician school? And yes it was hilarious, but get a hold of yourself man!
3. apparently choked up, almost cried when he mentioned his child in the national guard. First holla at me when your child is on the front lines in Iraq, Afghanistan, Iran, not the national guard. Plus, I don’t wanna see a man cry. I know that is super sexist of me but I hate to see men cry, for that matter I really hate to see anyone cry, male or female. Keep that shit bottled up like the rest of us.
4. was well prepared by his handler’s and one can tell that he must have done debate at some point in his life or he is an excellent orator! He was just spiting that fire. I was thoroughly impressed because I’ve seen some footage of him raw and uncut, and whoo I need him never, ever, ever go off script.
5. actually made sense 65% of the time
6. wears self-tanner/bronzer! Any man that has the balls to wear self-tanner/bronzer AND makeup is alright in my book!
7. needs to learn how to control his sighing/frustration. yes we all know that Palin is a tool of teh man, and that she is only doing as she is told, but don’t sigh in frustration out loud. Learn to control that shit. You made yourself look bad, and lost some of the little respect that I have for you.
8. knocked that one question about what a VP should do out. of. the. park. that’s what’s up.

Sarah Palin:

1. Took women back 100 years
2. Is way out of her league, really this one is aimed at her handler’s they really should have given her more coaching and/or debate lessons. It was like a newborn kitten being thrown to ravenous, unsocialized pitbulls. Very painful at times indeed.
3. Why are you effing winking at the camera during a debate?! I understand trying to keep the mood lighthearted but damn, that was really lame, you looked like you were one step away from twirling your hair and popping your gum, and just plain unprofessional.
4. Sends shout outs in the middle of a sentence, see #3
5. makes lame segways that don’t really work. Learn to be a politician if you are going to be a big dog, at least learn the mannerisms.
6. Don’t dress sexxy unless you can back it up with intelligence. It is ok to dress sexy as woman ONLY if you can open your mouth and coherently string together two sentences. Otherwise you look like a bimbo, and you fulfil the stereotype that women are airheads who should stay in the kitchen barefoot and pregnant. I really cannot stress this point enough. We already have to contend with men constantly undressing us simply because we are women, and unconsciously (sometimes consciously and verbally) contesting our prowess and intelligence without dressing sexy. You, wearing a tight suit that hugs all of your curves only fulfils that stereotype. However, if you can back up your intelligence, you almost proved/earned your right to dress sexxy/nicely. Because you are not just a piece of meat. No matter what people say, we (women) are not considered equal to men (in their eyes). We will always have to fight them tooth and nail, no matter what. That is just the way of the world.
7. only talked about her “expertise” on energy (seriously, you’ve been governor for 18 months, how much expertise can you really gain in 18 months save for a major catastrophe related to energy?! and if there was a major catastrophe we would have heard of her hence making her known to the free world), something that was rehashed from McCain, and/or spewed drivel! I need you to stay on topic. And I understand that, that’s what politicians are famous for, but they avoid questions in a way that makes you wonder twenty minutes later “did s/he answer the question? eh it doesn’t even matter s/he was so charismatic!”
8. wears waaaaaaaaaaay too much blush and doesn’t know how to apply it!
9. needs to lay off the tanning bed. I know I let Biden slide on that one, but I can do that.
10. has the worst accent EVER! I know I can’t talk because I sound like Minnie Mouse on helium with a southern/white girl/boughetto accent, but I can because that’s just how I roll.

Gwen Ifill-I don’t really have much to say about her. Except that I need her to update her hairstyle (shallow I know), and she was on point with the questions (although they were most likely written and contributed by others). But my girl is a member of the intelligenstia! Afrobella heavilly quoted Ifill and here is a part of it:

Gwen addressed that with CNN as well: “I‘m in great demand — everyone wants to talk to me — but I’m not speaking for the whole race,” Ifill said. “My job is to be a reporter. I cannot be the great interpreter. It’s not my job to be on someone else’s air telling them what black people think.”.”

Ifill told Kurtz that as Obama accepted his party’s nomination for president, a white television reporter asked her: “Aren’t you just blown away by all of this?” She said she was not.

Kurtz also points out that “on one level, Ifill says, she views this moment as the daughter of a black minister who marched in civil rights demonstrations and who she wishes were alive to see what Obama has achieved.”

Ifill told Kurtz, “I still don’t know if he’ll be a good president. I’m still capable of looking at his pros and cons in a political sense.” Besides, Ifill says, “no one’s ever assumed a white reporter can’t cover a white candidate

All in all, that debate was highly entertaining and saddening at the same time. It was funnier than any comedy I’ve seen in a long time. Yet, is this what we have to look forward to in political realm? I shudder to think of any of these candidates in office.

signed,

a highly amused [initials]

P.S. my puppy snores!!!! totally unrelated yet so cute!