this guy:
http://www.deathofagenius.com/2009/07/here-we-go.html
and these people:
http://thismayconcernyou.com/
are the reasons why i do not write anymore. this blog is more of a journal.
July 7, 2009
why i don’t really WRITE like i used to
July 5, 2009
tomorrow
tomorrow starts week 3 (but really week 4 of training, since i repeated one week) and i am honestly afraid that i will not be able to tough it out and run the full intervals. but i will try. and that is all that i can do.
the music is on point, although when i run i kind of tune the music out and focus on actually making it to the end of the interval.
ETA: I didn’t go running today. i felt like crap. my knee is acting up yet again, and my chest feels very weird. almost like i have a chest cold but i don’t. although i was feeling a tad warmer than usual, but whatevs. so this weeks schedule will get rearranged because i will run 3 days this week.
June 29, 2009
day 1 week 2a
today was waaaay better than last week. and im glad im redoing this week.
- figured out why my calf was seizing up on me. i was running too slow. wowwie. so stepped up the pace and was able to complete the entire workout. yay
- shoes are so awesome i cant even explain how awesome they are. and they should i paid fricking $120 for em
- random running observations: don’t take up the ENTIRE sidewalk with your two dogs. was running behind this ancient white couple, who btw are the types of people who let their dogs do any damn thing they pleased. please don’t do that people that sucks. i don’t want to have to deal with YOUR animals. not fair to me. but anyways, i was about 15 seconds behind them and screamed out “behind you” twice!!! they still didn’t move. they actually stopped. and i was like “MOVE!!!” ended up getting caught in one dog’s leash and stepped on him. apologized and then berated them for not moving. dude pulled a sharp inhale like he was going to say something which prompted me to tell him that he should have moved, i kept screaming behind you. EVERYONE knows that is the universal polite way to say move the eff out the way.
- had a late run because i couldn’t figure out where to run. ended up running by the waterfront. which just might be my new thing! it was so calming and relaxing.
- signed up for the marathon of the palm beaches today. 5k was $25. they even have a 1k for kids! superawesomeness. will be my first marathon AND first major life milestone (run marathon before 30). stepfather might run the marathon with me! that’ll be kinda cool
June 28, 2009
what the eff is wrong with me!?
sooooo this weekend was a complete and utter wash. i probably ate ten pounds of junk food in this one weekend. the problem is that i don’t have a life, and i don’t know where to get one from! i am afraid i’m spiraling back into depression…o_O really why can’t i be normal
!
!
!
FUCK.
however, i am still on my couch to 5k training regimen. repeating week 2, since last week was a wash. but i don’t even feel sad/upset/depressed about that. i just see it as another challenge. and i WILL persevere over my body.
except that i had half a ciggarrette and beer at the lynryd skynrd/kid rock concert on friday. REALLY miss the ciggs when i drink. but i’ve done a pretty good job of nixing liquor, beer, coffee/fake sugar from my diet. and i am still proud of myself for those things. apparently that’s all i can control. for some reason i just cannot stop eating. and i hate myself when i eat. <head in hands>
almost finished with the protective hair challenge. and my hair is gorgeous! it is sooooo long. and when its wet it is sooo curly. but it dries into puffy frizz. florida humidity does not want me to have curly hair. oh well.
exchanged the shoes, and got inserts to go in them. ended up spending an extra $50 on top of the $63 for the original shoes. sigh. add that to the pile, bleeding money.
apologies for the disconnected post.
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June 26, 2009
day 3 week 2
FINALLY got to wear the new shoes today. they are a tad big but made a world of difference. NO MORE SHIN SPLINTS!!! w00! however my right calf is acting like a straight asshole! it tightens up so badly that i have to stop running for fear of tearing it. that is a stretching issue. obviously. im not stretching good enough for le monsieur calf. but i knew the shoes would rock. asics gel stratus 2.1. get ya some. however, i have to take em back today and switch em for a smaller sizer. i really hope that i don’t have too much trouble trying to switch em out. the receipt DOES state that merchandise should be returned new and unused. but come on! how am i supposed to know if the shoes truly work for me until i try em out?! sigh. so i cleaned em (they really weren’t even that dirty) and im going to take em back after work. please pray for me people that the salespeople don’t flip out. by the by has anybody shopped at the sports authority? if so can ya let me know how they act when you return stuff.
i am going to repeat week 2. i really did not want to repeat at all, but i was not able to continuously run all of the intervals for this week. so to properly condition my body, i shall repeat. even though i wasn’t able to complete most of the 90 second running intervals (due to right calf acting up not being winded. which surprised the heck out of me!!!) i still don’t feel bad, because i completed the entire workout! yay me!
so i am uber happy right now. i pushed myself to my limit (which is super tight calf muscle btw)!
so teh interwebz i am imploring you for help! if you have any tips for my calf, stretching exercises or any other workout advice you want to shoot my way, feel free!
tis enough for me have to get ready for work.
love
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p.s. rain and i are coming down the homestrech of our one month protective hair challenge. unfortuantly the silly dilly that i am did not take before pictures for comparasions purposes. but i can tell how much my hair has grown!!! so happy.
June 24, 2009
day 2 of week 2 of training
monday’s training was subpar. chalk that up to subpar OLD, worn out shoes. i also FORCED myself to get up and run. im glad i went through with the session though. however i didn’t complete the workout. btw weekends are way too much time to pass in a training program. normally i wouldve gotten bummed. but i gave myself a thumbs up for at least trying. if you never try, you already failed.
yesterday, binged/emotionally ate again. sunday was first time this happened. first time in looooong time this went down. ever since weightwatchers my emotional relationship with food has waned. i dont want to say that i binged because of my mother, because no one can make you DO anything. however i just get so frustrated, and i have no other outlets for said frustration. i return to food. and.i.hate.my.self.every.second. of the binging. she thinking about it makes me sick with myself.
either due to the binging (i guess) i gained 3 pounds back in a week. i was diligent except for sunday. i even eschewed boston baked beans at a bbq. so really 1 day last week caused a 3 pound weight increase!? i am stumped. a little dejected. a tad aggravated, but a TON motivated. i may stop paying attention to the scale and just focus on staying on the ww program and training for my marathon. o i don’t know if i told you. i am going to run a 5k marathon in december. im still hesitant to register/pay my $97 only because my mind is made up, however i don’t know if my body is going to play along. I’m only in week 2 of training. if i have made significant progress by week 4 then i definitely going to sign up. stepfather has said he will run with me when i get to the running straight through stage, and not still interval training. i can respect that. honestly the real reason i don’t want any help, is because i dont want people to see how pathetic i am. once i get in top form, then all the merry people can tag along. i also stopped smoking, and drinking caffeinated beverages for this training. my mind is made up.
i purchased new shoes last night. made an investment in my shoe game and eventually my health. the shoes were marked for 80 and i was really hesistant but i really liked them so i said what the hell. but god was smiling down on me bec the shoes ended up being 53!!!
so with all of that people i have to run (hahahahah)
feeling much better
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*editors note: just got back from running. had to use old shoes bec the sales lady didnt take the shoplifting sensor off the shoes o_o as a result again workout was subpar, couldnt finish all of the intervals due to intense pain in right calf. my feet roll out and not having a corrective shoe is leading to pain. not trying to pull/tear a muscle. so upset right now. im going to have to repeat this week’s interval. man im upset. [sigh]
June 22, 2009
profanity laced post
FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCKKKKKKKKKKK
I gained 3 pounds from last week to this one! i JUST FUCKING LOST THOSE 3 POUNDS!!!! omg i dont understand it. i started my running program, what did i do wrong.
dejected
[initials]
June 17, 2009
running and some other quick things before work
- couch to 5k program is that bidness. get on it.
- when i go out for the day, all i focus on when running is making it through this interval. i talk myself through it and im so proud of myself! when i run, its as if im leaving all of my cares behind and they only creep up on me during the walking interval.
- “No crisps. Never ever. Well not never ever, but not very often. I don’t want to die because of an over indulgence of something as mundane, uninteresting or uninspiring as crisps. Let me go after a coke overdose, get me run over by a Rolls Royce, but please don’t finish me off through over eating crisps! ” found this here but its a pretty good summation of life
- going to bed earlier so i can wake up earlier to run!
- more energy
- don’t care as much about the small things
- need to find a summer deoderant. lavelin might have to do. bec tom’s of maines SO gave up on me yesterday, then my backup deoderant didn’t work and to make matters worse i was at work wearing polyeseter! so i smelled horrible. needless to say i retreated to my office for the remainder of the day. however someone noticed and sprayed what must have been an entire can of lysol in the hallwall. i was (and still am) mortified. thank god im not working tomorrow or friday. i can’t bear to look at these people. and the door will be closed for most of today.
- im contemplating sending myself flowers to make everyone in the office think i got someone special in my life.
- supposed to be going out with the firefighter this weekend. nixed the trip with big red. well actually he is avoiding me (not returning texts/calls) which is all fine and dandy i don’t need to get caught up with him. so hopefully firefighter wont stand me up, and then my uncle’s wedding is saturday. love how his finace invited me one week to the day! i rsvp’ed without even looking at the invite, and then when i looked i was pissed. the ONLY reason she invited me was because i kept harping about how she won’t get a gift from me if i don’t get a paper invitiation. and on the real HOW CAN YOU EXPECT GIFTS IF YOU DON’T GIVE OUT INVITATIONS!? this hooker was all like “we don’t have enough for paper invites” well then you don’t have enough for gifts.
that’s all for now ill be back
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June 11, 2009
i have become one of those bloggers that i hate
you know the type of blogger who allows several weeks to pass between blog posts.
it seems like i am honestly incapable of updating my blog. except when i am at work, and when i should be working. which is REALLY stupid since my boss (and IT guy) can see every.single.thing.i.do. on this computer. actually ANY person can do a public records request and see that as well. so good people i am REALLY playing with fire here. As a result of all of this, I am tempted to shut this blog down…My one reader is going to be so disappointed, but the rest o the blogosphere won’t care.
if my readership jumps, maybe ill be more inclined to blog reguarly
- podrunner podcasts is my new thing! this dj put the couch to 5k running program to music. basic gist of the program is that after 9 weeks you will be able to run a 5k. you accomplish this task through intervals. walk 1 min, run/jog 2 so on and so forth. i’ve always wanted to try this program but im a big chicken butt and i kept making excuses like “i don’t have a stop watch and i need a stop watch to do this program” now i have no.excuse! so next week i start!!! this in conjunction with weightwatchers will make the weight melt off. plus i do wanna run. i think its cool to run
- speaking of weight watchers…im 1 pound away from the 10 pound goal. after 2 effing months. ::sigh:: i suck so hard at this right now. i should have lost 16 pounds so far, 2 pounds per week at 8 weeks. but i haven’t because i have not committed to exercising, just the eating plan. this ends next week when i start the podrunner program. wish me luck.
- challenges are the best thing ever! rain and i have completed 2 so far and we are currently and the midst of the third one. 1st challenge focused on making water your only beverage. 2nd was to eat breakfast every day no.matter.what. for a week. the current challenge is a protective hair challenge. rules: you must keep your hair in some protective hair style for a month. you can change your styles once a week, you must henna twice during that month, and you must deep condition twice as well. this is week two and i believe that i am going to henna again this week (i henna’ed last week). so far so good. hopefully my hair will sprout like a weed by the end of the challenge
- RAIN IS GETTING MARRIED!!! and she asked me to be a bridesmaid. im so honored! when jtb feels better she is going to go with me for my dress fitting
- i am considering cutting off all of my hair again.
- supposedly going to naples with big red (also see HERE ) weekend of the 18th we will see how that goes
- i need governor charlie christ to go sit down some where. i am so not pleased with him for signing SB 360. wow sir. way to kill growth management and urban planning in florida. this bill gets rid of the development of regional impact review process (which means that developers can get all land hungry and build mini-cities whereever they please with less oversight), concurrency (if you build a development somewhere you have to make sure that there is enough infrastructure to support it) and some other silly things.
- someone keeps asking me in a roundabout way if im seeing anyone…hmm WHY DO YOU CARE SIR? i asked an unbiased male acquiantance about this and according to him men are super territorial, so even if they are not with you, they want to make sure that you are always available so when they do become available you will be there. hi.la.ri.ous! highlights of the convo:
me: but wait, this guy doesn’t even know IF he even has a chance with
me so why does it matter
male friend: men always think they have a chance.
me: <confused look> ooooooooooooooooooooo my
little does this guy know, if he were available i would have so taken his
cookies long ago. but what do i need to do to let him know that im potentially interested
mf: always tell him no when he asks if ur messing with someone
me: woooow
- can someone please tell me why i am so frigging EXTRA all the time? why can’t i be normal, and not always overreact? or habitually line cross. maybe one of these days ill become a better person and just stop
- i got to see the inside of a fire station last night!!! it was so cool *aside why is that so exciting to me? end aside* on the same note how about there is a such thing as the “code 3 club” its like the mile high club, but induction involves chexing in the fire/police station, and/or in a police cruiser, ambulance, or ON the fire truck!!!!!!!! people stop!
- on same note, is it wrong for me to stop chasing after the other firefighter, and mess with his friend? firefighter 1 seemed to have promise and then fizzled out, now we are cool friends. but HIS friend LOUD firefighter is all sniffing my hydrant and what not (fyi he was the one who gave me the dime tour of the fire station at 2am)
- same note im suffering from horrible insomnia lately. i don’t know whats worse sleeping all the time, or not getting enough sleep.
- love b scott is that biz and why is his makeup and hair better than mine? i still love him though. he is awfully pretty. PLEASE WATCH THE VID
- no matter what goes down, at the end of it all i still like me for me. yes it upsets me horribly when other people don’t get/like me but that won’t make me stop liking me
i think thats all for now
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May 23, 2009
bad news
female pattern baldness runs in my family. today my mother named off 4 women in my family who went bald when they got older. part of the reason i stopped relaxing was to escape female pattern baldness. and i am deathly afraid of being bald, however i love short hair. go figure
